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The Coming Back Prayer

4/5/2018

18 Comments

 
"Just as you became almost content treading the sensible path of human improvement inch by inch, it started- the mysterious process of real transformation, which takes you by storm and throws all the spiritual rules you learned out of the window. It’s chaotic, explosive, confusing, yet at the same time the most intelligent and elegant process ever. If you know what I’m talking about, good for you. If you suspect you know what I’m talking about because it is happening to you right now, then read on..." -Natasha Che, HuffingtonPost.com


49-Second Video: My Hygge Coming Back Prayer


Being Spiritual Doesn't Go Away

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"You feel like you’re living in the middle of a desert, alone."
~Natasha Che, same article

 
One of the hardest things about being spiritually adrift is being at sea, alone.

I had lost that sense of connection to something beyond my physical reality. And I lost it at a time when I needed for there to be something other than the world I faced at that moment.

I didn't stop being spiritual. But I sure did stop doing anything about it.

As time passed, it was easier just to give up on trying. And I wondered if I would have that sense of lonely disconnection forever.



"This stage [of transformation] is characterized by uncomfortable growth/shedding/self-reflection and an ambivalence about proceeding forward, almost a longing for the comfort that was, and a new kind of relationship to uncertainty." ~ KellyBroganMD.com

Right. It's not just lonely, there is this uncertainty that can be very frustrating. Will I ever believe anything again? Have a sense of connection that I trust?

Hence my question, yesterday, about giving up on spirituality.

It was starting to feel like it wasn't worth the hassle. But I really missed having a spiritual practice. And I started to winder if there might be some way to have one even in the middle of all the uncertainty.

Because at its best, having a spiritual practice can...

(1) help you stay true to yourself & continue discovering the richness of who you are

(2) help you feel less alone & give you ways to feel a sense of connection

(3) add moments of enchantment to a day-to-day experience that is sometimes mundane & sometimes painful

(4) give you ways to process about the questions, about the unknown

(5) helps you hold space for the spiritual transformation that might be happening behind the scenes (way behind the scenes.)

Which of those reasons would mean the most to you?

For me, it is the possibility of spiritual transformation.

I have come to hope that, somehow, without my knowing it, this is what is happening to me. I've been calling it an agnostic phase or a dark night of the soul, and defining it by my uncertainty about what I believe & my lack of motivation to do spiritual things.

But sometimes, oddly, it has felt like something has been happening in the background & I am hoping that this hygge exploration will center me on its path.

Have you ever had a spiritual "come back" moment in your own life?

More, tomorrow. See you then!

Love, Jeanine


18 Comments
Ruth Bowers link
4/5/2018 08:10:32 am

For me, it's the first three combined, but if I had to pick one I'd say it was the enhancement of my days. I always like to feel a sense of wonder and magic about the world, and when I don't have that it makes the days seem just a yucky sort of grey.

Reply
Jeanine Byers link
4/5/2018 12:14:35 pm

YES! I want an enchanted life, too, and it's one of the things I miss most.

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Cathy Chapman link
4/5/2018 08:28:04 am

Spiritual connection for me is what keeps me from dropping into the morass of nihilism, that nothing has meaning. My spirituality has me seeing the wonder of the little things. Yes, I still question, at times, what is happening in the world. Since I can only do my little part, I put the rest in God's hands.

Reply
Jeanine Byers link
4/5/2018 12:16:12 pm

I have experienced nihilism in the past, and the depression that would naturally go with it if you're a sensitive. I don't have that now. I'm not angry. Just confused and a little lost, I suppose. I'm glad you have your faith!

Reply
Roy A Ackerman, PhD, EA link
4/5/2018 09:40:12 am

i'm glad I never lost my religious belief. It keeps me centered.

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Jeanine Byers link
4/5/2018 12:17:15 pm

That's wonderful, Roy! I am glad, too, that you've never lost it. That sense of being centered and grounded is exactly what I want.

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Christina Weigand link
4/5/2018 11:48:40 am

I can't imagine my life without prayer and a belief in a higher power. I kind of think that all 5 reasons resonate with me in some way or another.

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Jeanine Byers link
4/5/2018 12:19:03 pm

I do still pray. I just don't have any kind of certainty about where it goes. And I totally understand what you mean because not having it is very hard right now.

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Jen link
4/5/2018 11:16:15 pm

At one point, I *thought* I'd had a coming-back moment. Looking back, though, I don't think I did. I still didn't feel connected even though I was going to church. I was an outsider, in more ways than one. As for something that helps, though.... I have always been a sporadic journaler. I have good intentions, but they soon fall by the wayside for a variety of reasons/excuses. When I journal regularly, even if it's about nothing and everything, like Morning Pages a la Julia Cameron/The Artist's Way, I feel like I'm part of something bigger than myself. I start to get that sense of connection that I've been missing. Then I get scared (for lack of a better word) and stop again.

Reply
Jeanine Byers link
4/6/2018 12:11:27 am

I know what you mean about getting scared and stopping! But I'm so glad you mentioned the sense of connection to something bigger. Because there could be lots of ways to do that that don't seem spiritual, but work, nonetheless. Watching a movie can have that impact for me, getting lost in good music, etc.

Reply
Jen
4/6/2018 09:16:55 pm

Definitely getting lost in music helps. So does a good book sometimes.

Jeanine Byers link
4/6/2018 10:23:01 pm

So true! It's been during this process that I began to realize that some of my book/movie experiences were spiritual.

Martha link
4/5/2018 11:36:22 pm

I have to go along with Roy and Christina, I know there is a higher power and I believe without having to see.

Reply
Jeanine Byers link
4/6/2018 12:14:26 am

That's great, Martha!

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April Sherlock link
4/6/2018 12:03:39 am

I feel like I've had multiple comebacks. Each one at a different stage in my faith- or sometimes more accurate- unfaith journey. Some days I can look and see a beautiful tapestry and others I feel unraveled and unglued with only bits of sacred cows to hold on to.

Reply
Jeanine Byers link
4/6/2018 12:20:59 am

I have had some comebacks, too, and I am hoping that means this will come to an end and all will be well with my soul. But I don't know. As you've said, it is starting to seem to be a journey of unfaith. With not much to hold on to at the moment.

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Alice Gerard link
4/6/2018 12:25:06 am

Oddly enough, this last presidential election resulted in my faith being strengthened, not lost. The election was such a train wreck that it made me realize that I could trust God alone. Humans were disasters. The madness of this past fifteen months convinces me that following my faith and my spirituality is the right path to take.

Reply
Jeanine Byers link
4/6/2018 12:36:44 am

That's great, Alice! I've heard that before, that sometimes, it's when things go wrong that your faith can be strengthened.

Reply



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