The Coming Back Prayer

"Just as you became almost content treading the sensible path of human improvement inch by inch, it started- the mysterious process of real transformation, which takes you by storm and throws all the spiritual rules you learned out of the window. It’s chaotic, explosive, confusing, yet at the same time the most intelligent and elegant process ever. If you know what I’m talking about, good for you. If you suspect you know what I’m talking about because it is happening to you right now, then read on..." -Natasha Che, HuffingtonPost.com

49-Second Video: My Hygge Coming Back Prayer

Being Spiritual Doesn't Go Away

"You feel like you’re living in the middle of a desert, alone."
~Natasha Che, same article

 
One of the hardest things about being spiritually adrift is being at sea, alone.

I had lost that sense of connection to something beyond my physical reality. And I lost it at a time when I needed for there to be something other than the world I faced at that moment.

I didn't stop being spiritual. But I sure did stop doing anything about it.

As time passed, it was easier just to give up on trying. And I wondered if I would have that sense of lonely disconnection forever.

"This stage [of transformation] is characterized by uncomfortable growth/shedding/self-reflection and an ambivalence about proceeding forward, almost a longing for the comfort that was, and a new kind of relationship to uncertainty." ~ KellyBroganMD.com

Right. It's not just lonely, there is this uncertainty that can be very frustrating. Will I ever believe anything again? Have a sense of connection that I trust?

Hence my question, yesterday, about giving up on spirituality.

It was starting to feel like it wasn't worth the hassle. But I really missed having a spiritual practice. And I started to winder if there might be some way to have one even in the middle of all the uncertainty.

Because at its best, having a spiritual practice can...

(1) help you stay true to yourself & continue discovering the richness of who you are

(2) help you feel less alone & give you ways to feel a sense of connection

(3) add moments of enchantment to a day-to-day experience that is sometimes mundane & sometimes painful

(4) give you ways to process about the questions, about the unknown

(5) helps you hold space for the spiritual transformation that might be happening behind the scenes (way behind the scenes.)

Which of those reasons would mean the most to you?

For me, it is the possibility of spiritual transformation.

I have come to hope that, somehow, without my knowing it, this is what is happening to me. I've been calling it an agnostic phase or a dark night of the soul, and defining it by my uncertainty about what I believe & my lack of motivation to do spiritual things.

But sometimes, oddly, it has felt like something has been happening in the background & I am hoping that this hygge exploration will center me on its path.

Have you ever had a spiritual "come back" moment in your own life?

More, tomorrow. See you then!

Love, Jeanine