"Sometimes I have to take a break from being spiritual. Why Bother Doing Spiritual Things? If you read my post about my spiritual practice story, you know I have been in what I have thought of as an extended agnostic phase, and that there have been times in the past year and a half that I didn't bother with a spiritual practice. It felt old and outdated, no longer useful, and it felt weird to do spiritual things when I had no idea if they would have any impact on anything at all. And if, like me, you are spiritual but not religious, you may not have a compelling reason either to carefully craft a spiritual practice. And actually, even deeply religious people have dry spells. So if you are reading this and are a person of deep religious faith, you may be able to relate to this question, too. So then, why not just leave it alone for a while? Maybe even a long while. Maybe just decide not to worry about it and live unspiritually? (I know, I made that word up) Well, one answer is that you may not like the way that feels. I did that. I took some time off. I was grieving the loss of my favorite aunt and I was not in the mood to connect with the divine, who I suspected might not really be there. My focus became very narrow. I became concerned with the wellbeing of myself and my family and that was it. And I am still in the middle of this story, as I have mentioned before. But I am not in the same place I was all those many months ago. Mind you, I still have all the doubts, and the big question marks. Yet it's not the same experience. Even things like doubt and grief change form, I suppose. And believe it or not, I am beginning to get some answers now to this question of why I should bother. Even though nothing has been resolved. I'll tell you more about what I mean in the next couple of posts. How do you feel about it? If you have ever been in dark night territory, did you avoid your spiritual practice? Did you feel like giving up on it? If you landed on the side of giving up on being spiritual, I completely understand. By the way, I want to take a moment to thank you for reading these blog posts. It's not fun to listen to someone talk about being in pain. About loss. And doubt. I really appreciate your willingness to do so. Love, Jeanine
18 Comments
4/4/2018 12:20:23 pm
Jeanine, thank you for sharing this. Yes, I have been walking through the dark place for several months now. I had allowed myself to get so "busy" with life and serving others that I forgot to nurture my own soul, which left me dry and broken. I am taking it baby steps at a time and not allowing myself to "be spiritual" for anyone else, but seek what God is telling me personally. I am finding my rediscovery of my faith is different - a more personal relationship - a more organic, natural spirituality. I appreciate your openness and honesty. 4/5/2018 05:50:32 am
Thank you, Connie!! I like the way you describe it - especially, the part about letting go of trying to do it the way others might say you should. And I'm so glad your faith and relationship are returning! 4/4/2018 12:25:41 pm
Thanks for this article. I am a deeply religious person and am often hesitant to explore things because they appear new-agey (Yes I am making up words too). Your article gives me permission to explore things without compromising my own spirituality and faith. 4/4/2018 01:34:35 pm
There is so much to explore in spirituality. Our relationship with God, Source, All That Is, Love Itself (my clients use so many terms) helps us come to know ourselves. 4/5/2018 05:54:02 am
Cathy, I am starting to get that sense, too, that whatever is going on out there, it is about Love. Thx! I am so enjoying your posts, too. I avoided any kind of spiritual practice for almost three years. At first, I quit going to church because I was under strict orders to keep my foot propped up as much as possible. Then it spread to encompass my whole life. I didn't do anything. I felt very alone. I was diagnosed with situational depression. I still get episodes of that, but it's not as bad as it was. (I was never suicidal. I've lost an uncle and a cousin to suicide. That was beyond hard.) I think doubt and grief definitely change form. And purpose. I feel it has for me, anyway. Now my doubt seems to be prompting me to look for other realities, other ways of being/relating/connecting. That's a good thing. 4/5/2018 06:00:40 am
Jen, I am so sorry to hear about your losses!!! And your story really supports this idea I have that the situations we experience can affect us spiritually, without warning. We think we are dealing with one thing, and suddenly, we notice we are dealing with a spiritual thing! I think grief can turn into situational depression, and I am sorta keeping an eye on both myself & my son, because of my mother's recent death, to make sure we grieve in a straightforward way, rather than avoiding it. And i love what you say at the end. It *is* a good thing!! <3
Jen
4/5/2018 11:20:25 pm
My uncle and my cousin (his son) died about 10 years apart. He's the one who found his dad. He never sought help for that, attempting, instead, to self-medicate. Even though it has been almost 9 years since my cousin's passing, it is sometimes still very difficult. When he died, I was in the middle of taking a crochet class (4 weeks, one night a week at the local college's community education program). He is why I started making prayer shawls. I don't make them as often, but I still do. I go through what I call "wilderness experiences" these are times where I feel the divine is far from me or giving me the silent treatment, I used to fear these times, I used to feel like they were some kind of punishment- that they were Gods payback of something I did wrong. But then one day all that changed, I realized that one day in the wilderness, one day when I was just taking care of ME and my family and doing MY thing something felt different, all of the sudden the wilderness wasn't such a lonely feeling of punishment, it became a time of refreshment, almost like a vacation... 4/5/2018 06:04:13 am
That is so neat, April! I have had to work to let go of that punishment model, too. It was taught to me way back when during a time when I was more religious. "Are you sick? There must be sin in your life!" So I can see why it would be easy to think that feeling of distance was a punishment. For me, it feels more clear that it is something going on with me, but it still feels like a wilderness experience. 4/5/2018 01:59:04 am
I understand about the spiritual desert. I have been there, off and on, for a long time. For long periods of time, I can pull myself away and I can experience my own spirituality but then... something happens or doesn't happen. Right now, I miss who my mom used to be, feeling sad that my mom has turned into this confused lady in a nursing home. I hop in and out of the spiritual desert... finding things that are good... but then, going back into the desert and wondering where my mom is and wondering if she can be brought back... and now, I am just rambling. 4/5/2018 06:08:53 am
Not rambling at all! Thank you for sharing that. I am so sorry for what you and your mom are going through. Reading this, it makes so much sense to me that it would affect you spiritually. It makes me think we should all be gentle with ourselves. If we could see our own story from above, we'd totally understand our reactions & the impact of what we're going through on our spiritual life. But down here, it's so much easier to reject ourselves for not having the spiritual life we want. Reminds me of how I felt after an accident, when I couldn't run up the stairs to my apartment. My knee was letting me down. But of course, I couldn't run! Anyway, I am the rambling one... 4/5/2018 06:20:13 am
Jeanine where is the spiritual exercise that you were about to post? I was waiting for it. 4/5/2018 06:40:42 am
Snehal, please forgive me! Mentioning that yesterday was an oops. It is still coming, but not for another couple of days. 4/5/2018 12:03:00 pm
Oh, I'm so glad that they have you to help them, Martha!! And you are very welcome. :) Leave a Reply. |
Hi, I'm JeanineAuthor, tea matchmaker, self care coach and lifestyle blogger. I help women who want more time for tea breaks & self care simplify, and find time for both. More here.
Archives
April 2021
Categories
All
Join my Hygge Lifestyle Facebook Group
|
RSS Feed